‘Extreme Buyers Club’ Hunts for On-Land Lodging for a Mermaid

You’ve heard Sebastian sing that it’s better down where it’s wetter — and this College Station, Texas, couple couldn’t agree more. Megan is a mermaid trainer with a traveling business, Nathan is the owner of a dive shop and together they’ve outgrown the house he purchased while in college.

They’d been hesitant to reach out to real estate agents out of fear of judgment, but the three bedrooms and two bathrooms — one of which has become mermaid tail storage — just aren’t cutting it anymore. Enter Noel Collier, a Houston broker who’s not afraid of out-of-the-ordinary requests and helps prospective homeowners fulfill them on Extreme Buyers Club.

Megan and Nathan want a property that doubles as a classroom, both for her mermaiding needs and his scuba diving demands. Their main request is a pool that goes beyond standard depths, preferably 6 to 10 feet deep, which instantly makes Noel’s search an upstream battle. The rest of the pair’s wishes should be easier to grant: four bedrooms, three to four bathrooms, a large kitchen, a space for entertaining and minimal carpet (for obvious reasons). With a budget of $850,000, Noel is o-fish-ally ready to get to work.

House No. 1: Marine Modernity

• 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
• 3,166 square feet
• Pool: 6 feet deep, heated
• Price: $835,000

Noel is excited to show Megan and Nathan this wide-open property, calling it an “entertainer’s dream.” As the couple walks through the house, they take note of the flooring, two ovens and closet space, but the modern style is much more Nathan’s taste than Megan’s. Out back feels a little small, but it does offer a lot of privacy, which would be helpful for classes and events.

Before any decision can be made, Megan has to try out the pool for herself, so she breaks out her tail and jumps in. Even though it’s only 6 feet deep, it has a nice shallow end and built-in steps all around, making mermaid break time much easier. Ultimately, they couldn’t see themselves in this house, so it was knocked out of the running.

House No. 2: One-of-a-Kind Oceanography

• 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
• 3,866 square feet
• Pool: 6 feet deep
• Price: $825,000 (soon to be reduced to $800,000)

Walking up to the second house, Megan says, “She has character,” which is exactly what she wants in a future home and is in clear contrast with Nathan’s desires. He’s willing to give it a chance and finds quite a few pros — a stove with a griddle, a nice poolside entertaining space and natural light — and only one major con. Each example of “character” Megan finds in the home is a thing Nathan would want to change to fit his preferences.

Noel is happy that Megan’s happy, but she notes that she’s never met a couple so far apart on style. The pool is being cleaned, so it’s not able to be tested, but after hearing what Megan and Nathan have to say, Noel gets the sinking feeling that this isn’t the place for them.

House No. 3: A Grand Fin-ale

• 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
• Just shy of 3,500 square feet
• Pool: 9.5 feet deep
• Price: $799,000

Noel is hoping that the third time will be the charm for her splashy clients. On the surface, this 1984-built house seems to fit both Megan’s and Nathan’s styles. Castle doors open to cathedral ceilings and a warm and welcoming property. In the kitchen, double ovens wow Nathan, but it feels a little cramped and nonsensical, with three sinks in the counter and another one in the island. They love the screened-in pool and its depth, which earns the mermaid’s and scuba diver’s seal of approval.

Even though Megan and Nathan finally seem to be on the same wavelength with this home, they tell Noel that they can’t commit to buying a property at the moment. It’s become clear they need to continue looking for common ground in their style.

No matter, Noel is determined to find a royal residence for Megan and Nathan, whose love of being underwater was a match mer-maid in heaven.