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Dream Home Vs. Reality Home

November 25, 2014
Every HGTV Dream Home of years past has been gorgeous and flawless. My place? Not so much. Here, let me give you a tour...
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Dream Home: Entry

The 2013 Dream Home's hallway shoe cubby bench means you can stay organized and be stylish at the same time.

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Reality Home: Entry

When I come home, I kick my shoes off into the monstrous shoe pile in the corner and bolt the door. (Also, that orchid is truly a pipe dream because I can't even keep a succulent alive longer than a week.)

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Dream Home: Kitchen

Dream Home 2012's deluxe kitchen — complete with oven, microwave and warming drawer — makes it easy to cook gourmet meals at home.

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Reality Home: Kitchen

Two days after I order takeout, there are still stacks of crumb-covered dishes "soaking" in my sink.

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Dream Home: Master Bedroom

The individual reading lamps are perfect for cozying up with a good book. Meanwhile, the dog can snooze in the mini replica of the 2011 Dream Home.

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Reality Home: Master Bedroom

My husband and I are both snoring away to late-night TV. And the dog has somehow wedged himself between us, shedding thick black fur all over our white bedding.

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Dream Home: Home Theater

Tripod floor lamps, black & white photos and a 58-inch flat panel TV with speakers provide a theater-like experience amidst all the comforts of Dream Home 2010.

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Reality Home: Home Theater

If by "home theater" you mean "watching Scandal on a tiny laptop in bed," then yes, I totally have a "home theater."

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Dream Home: Laundry Room

An industrial chic laundry room with tons of storage space and natural light from a window? Is this a detergent commercial set or the Dream Home 2009?

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Reality Home: Laundry Room

Please allow me to show you my laundry room. [opens a closet door, waves hand in front of stacked washer and dryer]

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Dream Home: Walk-In Closet

Dream Home: This master closet from Dream Home 2008 is loaded with floor-to-ceiling custom organizers and decorative touches like vases and candles.

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Reality Home: Walk-In Closet

My closets are also loaded...with things that fall on me as soon as I open them.

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Dream Home: Guest Bedroom

The four-poster walnut bed with black-checked cotton throw and matching throw pillows from Dream Home 2007 is as cute and quaint as any B & B.

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Reality Home: Guest Bedroom

Hold on while I inflate this air mattress.

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Dream Home: Dining Room

The dining room from Dream Home 2006 is warm, rustic and inviting. The round table can even seat up to 12 people.

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Reality Home: Dining Room

The coffee table is my dining room table.

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Dream Home: Pool and Patio

The limestone fireplace, stately columns and swimming pool make HGTV Dream Home 2005 feel like a resort.

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Reality Home: Pool and Patio

No joke, that Dream Home backyard is bigger than my entire home. And if I want to take a dip in a swimming pool, I'd have to resort to the gym's.

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Dream Home: Boat Dock

The HGTV Dream Home 2004 in Georgia came with its own boat dock and dockhouse with a screened-in living room.

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Reality Home: Boat Dock

A boat dock? This is so far from anything that resembles my reality, I don't even know how to address it. And if you'll excuse me, I think I have to go cry myself to sleep now.