Unnecessary But Awesome Things Everyone Wants in Their Lottery Dream Home

It is a truth universally acknowledged, as Jane Austen might have said, that a lottery winner in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a gigantic master closet. And a waterbed. And probably a tiny personal railroad that runs around his property. Choo choo! Consider some of the things we dream about when we dream about winning big, à la the lucky people David Bromstad meets on My Lottery Dream Home.

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A Home Theater

Thanks to leaps and bounds in TV technology, many of us can afford theatrically large screens if we dedicate ourselves to saving up for them. A proper home theater, on the other hand, has crushed velvet walls, seats for everyone in the neighborhood, and some sort of extra-unhealthy popcorn-making contraption. 

A Miniature Version of the House for the Dog

This is just good manners. Who offered unconditional love long before the big win, when lottery tickets were just something to dig past on the way to the chicken bones in the bottom of the kitchen garbage? Yes, Rex deserves a dream home, too. 

A Sauna

It’s often said that rich people have better skin than everyone else does. Part of this is due to $200-a-jar moisturizers like Crème de la Mer, sure, but the real pore-refining action is going on in the sauna. (If you want to double down on the luxury here, an Hermès beach towel will set you back a mere $530 or so.) 

A Wine Cellar

After a good steam in one’s personal sauna, who doesn’t fancy a sip of insouciant Pinot Grigio from one’s own wine cellar? This is a gateway luxury, mind you: The true oenophile’s investment is in his or her own vineyard.

A Stable

No one really gets over wanting a pony, even long after they grow up. (Or wanting to be a cowboy, for that matter.) Manure, schmanure: A stable full of horses is childhood wish fulfillment at its purest.

A Gargantuan Aquarium

The blue serenity of an aquarium is well known for its therapeutic properties, as watching fish swim is stress- and anxiety-reducing. Huge aquariums, in turn, are known for making their owners’ homes look like supervillains’ headquarters, and how cool is that? 

A Moat

Having one’s neighbors over to watch movies in the home theater is well and good, but it’s important to be able to raise the drawbridge, so to speak, when it’s time for privacy. In some cases—let’s be honest, the best cases—that actually means raising the drawbridge.

A Car Museum

Car Museums: When You Care Enough to Buy the Very Best (But Acquire So Much of It That You Drop the Pretense of Using It All).  

A Helipad

If you’re the sort of person whose estate covers a lot of ground, it can be a real hassle to drive home (especially if most of your cars are in the museum). Also, what if you invite Billy Joel over? (He commutes by chopper.) Long story short, it’s time for a helipad.

A Water Slide

Public water park employees get all kinds of upset when you try to use their slides in the nude. 

A Dock

As Captain John Paul “I have not yet begun to fight” Jones wrote in 1778, “It follows then that as certain as that night succeeds the day, that without a decisive naval force we can do nothing definitive, and with it, everything honorable and glorious.” Furthermore, having a dock means having an excuse to wear a captain’s hat. (Acquiring a boat isn’t crucial, since you can always tell people yours is at sea if they ask about your empty dock.)

A Library (with a Rolling Ladder)

Amassing so much literature that you can’t reach all of it without mechanical aid is the mark of a true scholar. Plus, you’re never allowed to roll around on those things at other people’s libraries.

A Secret Passage

The glitzy homes on shows like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and MTV Cribs are well and good, but at the end of the day, it would be a lot more fun to live in the Clue mansion.

A Tennis Court

Tennis is called the "sport of kings," and a true class act must have his or her own court. Playing tennis doesn’t sound all that exciting, but the game does inspire a lot of tasty-sounding cocktails.

An Estate Name

Graceland, Paisley Park, Castle Dracula—all the best properties have names of their own. Years from now, tourists might come from far and wide to crowd into Bob and Cheryl Manor. It’s a delicious thought.

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