Family-Friendly Design

Debbie Wiener and sons (Photograph by Mark Finkenstaedt for Designing Solutions.)

DO consider how you really live.
A room that looks beautiful but doesn’t take into account the demands of everyday family life will quickly be destroyed or end up like Grandma’s stuffy no-go zone. Instead, Debbie Wiener , a mother of two teenage boys and the owner of Designing Solutions (www.mydesigningsolutions.com), in Silver Spring, Maryland, espouses a decorating style she says is influenced by the World Wrestling Federation — one that will stand up to sibling food fights, vomiting babies, indoor hockey matches, incontinent pets, and slobby spouses. "Know who you’re living with and decorate accordingly," Wiener says. Hint: That means checking the color of the stains on your sofa before choosing a hue for the new one.

DON’T wait to decorate.
Many families hold off on decorating until their children are older, making do with ratty post-dorm furniture for years after its expiration date because, well, the kids will just wreck anything else. But even the youngest children benefit from living amidst beautiful objects. "There is value in kids learning to respect and appreciate nice things," affirms Kelly Kole, a mother of two and co-owner of Kandrac & Kole Interior Designs (www.kandrac-kole.com), in Atlanta. So go ahead and create a home the whole family can enjoy. You can even get kids involved in the process, asking what they’d like to see in a room you’re redecorating or letting them weigh in on a few pre-screened paint colors or fabric samples. That way, the finished space will not only reflect their needs and desires, but they may even feel enough ownership to think twice before kicking off muddy boots on the rug they helped select. (One can hope, anyway.)

DO go for a no-fuss look.
Many types of decor can adapt to family life, but certain styles are just plain impractical. Fussy formality, for instance, is best left to masochists. Pre-kids, "I had an English Country look, with lots of tasseled pillows, trimmed silk lampshades, and skirted tables. That didn’t last long," Debbie Wiener laughs. And a super-modern aesthetic — with its sleek surfaces and empty spaces — tends to work better in urban lofts inhabited by single neatniks than in busy family homes. "Minimalism just isn’t family-friendly," reasons Deborah Burnett (www.deborahburnett), ASID, the owner of Design Services, Inc. in Nashville, Tennessee, and the author of Comfortable Living by Design. "Negative spaces are impossible to maintain when kids are coming home and flinging their backpacks all over the place." A clean-lined but casual and comfortable look, then, is the way to go. Style strategies: Avoid couches and chairs with skirts (which attract pet hair, dust bunnies, and dirty shoeprints) in favor of exposed legs. Same goes for fabric-covered tables (sooner or later your kid’s going to give that fabric a tug and send everything crashing to the floor). Well-loved vintage items and contemporary pieces with a slightly weathered look survive kids more readily than precious antiques or pristine new items, and a softly layered, slightly boho look melds well with the happy chaos of family life. Whatever decorating style you choose, though, low-maintenance is a must. Once kids arrive, who has time to fluff pillows, comb fringe, primp curtains, and dust around tiny trinkets — or to constantly clear clutter from rooms that only look good when they’re practically empty?

DON’T be afraid of color, pattern, or texture.
Forget the white silk couch. Instead, opt for vibrant color, a bit of pattern and touchable texture. All help camouflage the inevitable spills, fingerprints, and other mishaps — and not just on furniture, but on walls and floors as well. The day her first-grader overturned a bottle of neon-hued Gatorade on the living room rug, for instance, Susanne Simas of Oakland, California was glad she’d had the foresight to select one with a dark color and rich pattern. "It’s very forgiving — you can’t see stains at all," she says. If bold patterns aren’t your thing, try a softly heathered finish on a couch or rug, say, or a subtle color wash on the walls. When it comes to paint choices, keep in mind that "color appears lighter the larger the surface it’s on, so take the color chip you like and go one shade deeper for walls," Burnett advises. Debbie Wiener’s favorite color trick: Matching paint and wood stains to permanent marker and crayon colors for quick touchups.

DO choose indestructible materials and finishes.
"If it seems like your family belongs in an institution, use institutional-quality goods," Wiener says, only half-jokingly. A look at the toughest materials for the job:

• Walls: There’s no getting around it: Walls take a beating with wee ones around. Cleats are casually tossed against white baseboards. Bedroom doors become backboards for basketball practice. A fresh expanse of drywall morphs into a blank canvas for that new set of crayons. Sticky fingers trail along hallway walls. That’s why wipeable paint is a must. You can’t go wrong with eggshell, satin or semi-gloss, which clean up with a damp sponge. But if you prefer the rich look of a matte finish, try one of the new "washable" flat paints, such as Glidden’s Super Washable Flat or Benjamin Moore’s Regal Matte. If you have an artist in the making, consider painting one wall with chalkboard paint (Benjamin Moore and Rust-Oleum make them) and let him unleash his inner impressionist. Another trick: Mix magnetic additive (available at home centers or online) into the paint you’re using on a kitchen or hallway wall to create a handy display space for children’s art. Then there are the areas that get an inordinate amount of abuse, such as the wall underneath the breakfast bar (don’t even try to fight it — kids are going to absentmindedly kick their feet against it no matter what you do). "Flat white paint there is going to be a disaster," says Kelly Kole. "Instead, install beadboard and use semi-gloss." That’s a wise strategy for high-traffic hallways and mudrooms, too.

• Windows: Long drapes that pool elegantly on the floor? They’re a tripping hazard, a hide-and-seek spot, and an "I wonder what will happen if I tug on this?" experiment waiting to happen. Instead, opt for simple, wipeable wood blinds or roman shades — those made with natural reeds, such as bamboo, do a great job of hiding jelly smears and can be secured out of reach during the day. Rule of thumb: "With window treatments, up-and-down is better than side-to-side if you have kids," Wiener days.

• Fabrics: "Go for heavy fabrics with a flat weave — they’ll hold up much better than lightweight or looped fabrics," Wiener advises. (Hint: Run your fingers over the fabric. The more noise it makes, the higher its durability and the lower its maintenance.) Easy-care, practically stain-proof choices include vinyl, "pleather," ultrasuede, twill, denim, velvet, wool, felt, and other natural fabrics with a touch of synthetic fiber woven in for added toughness. Leather is another good choice: It wipes clean with a paper towel and looks and feels even better when it’s well loved. Kitty O’Callaghan, a mother of three in White Plains, New York, figures the twin leather armchairs in her living room were a smart investment: "As long as no one’s wielding a Sharpie, I can get most anything off them," she says. For their pretty patterns and indestructible construction, Wiener likes to use moisture-, stain-, and fade-resistant Sunbrella fabrics (www.sunbrella.com) indoors as well as out. And even if your family doesn’t include a member of the four-legged variety, you might want to look into William Wegman’s Crypton Fabrics (www.cryptonfabric.com), which are designed to heroically thwart stains. When you’re ordering upholstery, be sure to request a stain-resistant finish, and don’t forget to Scotchgard off-the-shelf pieces. Other fabric-saving strategies: Splurge on washable slipcovers or zip-off cushion covers. Dawn Margolis, a mother of two in Wilmette, Illinois, purchased a slipcovered couch a few years ago, and says she’ll never go back. "When the cover gets dirty, I just whip it off and throw it in the wash," she says. Lesley Alderman of Brooklyn, New York, uses an elegantly draped throw to protect her treasured white chaise: "The kids can lie on the chaise and eat popcorn, and their crumbs and greasy hands end up on the throw, not the upholstery," she says. Finally, consider having the fabric on kitchen and even dining-room chairs laminated to protect against spaghetti splats (ask your fabric store about laminating services).

• Floors: For entries, hallways, and family rooms, look for flooring that cleans up with a damp mop. Tile, wood, laminate and linoleum work well. Deborah Burnett likes rustic, pre-distressed hardwood floors with a matte, non-skid finish. "They have a weathered, irregular look that’s very forgiving," she says. Wall-to-wall carpet provides padding for crawlers and unsteady walkers, but is tough to keep looking good during these early years. If you do go for wall-to-wall, keep it in a medium-to-dark tone and be sure to request a stain-protective finish. Debbie Wiener prefers wool-nylon blends, or if you’re on a tight budget, 100-percent nylon — it feels soft, resists stains and wears well.

• Area rugs: Whether you have wood floors or wall-to-wall carpet, area rugs can be lifesavers. They soften and warm a space and protect floors from kids — and vice-versa. When they get grungy, flip them over, send them to the cleaners, or simply replace inexpensive ones. Jute, seagrass and sisal add texture and are incredibly durable, making them great for heavily trafficked areas. For a softer landing, try an all-wool or wool-blend rug, which will wear well and resist stains. Because of its high lanolin content, New Zealand wool does a great job of repelling moisture and dirt: "If you spill on it, the liquid just beads on the surface," Wiener says. Carpet tiles (such as those from FLOR (www.florcatalog.com) are another family-friendly option: They’re like puzzle pieces that can be reconfigured on a whim, and if one area gets stained or worn, you can simply replace individual tiles. Whichever type of rug you choose, though, opt for easy-to-clean low pile and be sure to use a no-skid pad or double-sided tape underneath so the rug itself doesn’t become a hazard — or a prop for an indoor game of slip-n-slide.

DON’T scrimp on furniture.
Make no mistake: That cushy new reading chair will, in fact, be used as trampoline. It may seem paradoxical, but when you have children it makes sense to buy the best-made furniture you can afford. Look for heavy, solid furnishings constructed with kiln-dried hardwood that’s been screwed, glued and corner-blocked. Make sure upholstered pieces have eight-way ties. And upgrade chair and couch cushions to spring down, which does an excellent job of holding its shape, Wiener advises. These pieces will stand up to years of abuse, and can be reupholstered once your children reach a more civilized age. The cheapo furniture you may be tempted to make do with, on the other hand, will most likely wind up broken, battered, and taking up space in a landfill within a few years — making it no bargain at all. Other tips: Opt for rounded corners on tables and countertops to prevent bruises and black eyes. If couch cushions wind up as weapons in pillow fights or building blocks for forts (and you’re not OK with that), choose a couch with a "tight" — i.e. no-cushion — back, or request hold-down cushion straps or semi-attached cushions, which are sewn onto the couch itself. Whatever you do, leave that fussy pillow-back couch on the showroom floor — you’ll either be hunting down the pillows all over the house, or endlessly fluffing them after family members have plopped down and bounced back up again.

DO make space for kids.
Carve out areas in common rooms for children to do the things they enjoy. After all, part of making your home family-friendly is welcoming kids (and their stuff) into shared spaces, instead of relegating them to bedrooms and basements. Keep furnishings on the spare side while your brood is young to preserve space for play. If your family likes games, set up a game table and chairs in a corner of the family room, or opt for a large coffee table that everyone can gather around on game night. "Float furniture off the walls, which helps create distinct spaces for family members to use," Kelly Kole suggests. And don’t forget to customize each space to your children’s temperaments and interests: Leave an open area for your junior gymnast to practice her cartwheels, a cozy nook for your bookworm to curl up with his favorite tome, or a centrally located work table for your chatty budding artist. Make room for children metaphorically, too: "Baskets holding kids’ books send a nice welcoming message to enter an otherwise grown-up room, and photo albums keep kids busy and give them a good feeling about being part of the family," says Leslie Levine , a mother of two in Northbrook, Illinois. Oakland mom Susanne Simas goes one further by keeping a small stock of kids’ things in every room of her house — including the master bedroom, kitchen and dining room. Remember, when there are things children are encouraged to touch, they’ll be less tempted to get into stuff they’re not.

DO accessorize on high.
Learning to treat delicate and valuable items with care is a worthy life lesson, of course — but don’t temp fate. As Wiener says, accessories "are why God made bookshelves and mantels!" The so-called "Danger Zone" for young children is anything within about 45 inches of the floor, so make sure tchotchkes under that invisible line are safe and relatively sturdy: A piece of driftwood, say, or a grouping of seashells collected at the beach. When Knoxville, Tennessee, mother Leslie Snow ’s three children were little, she decorated in a style she calls "child-friendly primitive": Moss-covered balls in a pewter bowl, chunky wooden candlesticks, iron picture frames with the glass removed, and metal vases. "Everything my kids could reach looked pretty but couldn’t be destroyed," she explains. Safeguard that heirloom vase, on the other hand, by placing it on a floating display ledge mounted high on the wall, atop a cabinet or armoire, or behind doors in a curio cabinet. For her part, White Plains, New York, mom Kitty O’Callaghan stores china and delicate pottery behind chicken wire in a dining-room armoire. "The chicken wire looks cool and keeps things safe," she says, while still allowing the family to appreciate her collection.

DO incorporate savvy storage.
Clutter is an unavoidable part of family life — but that doesn’t mean it has to take over your home. "Be creative with storage," Kelly Kole urges. Make it a design element by tucking commodious baskets into empty corners and sliding attractive boxes into open shelves. Turn a closet floor into a toy bin by tacking a one-by-twelve board just inside the door to create a lip. "It’s easy to toss toys in and much easier for small children to get them out than it is with a deep box," Deborah Burnett explains. Choose a double-tiered coffee table that can hold toy baskets on the bottom shelf, or opt for a table with drawers. Sarah Lavender Smith , a mother of two in Piedmont, California, tosses toys, books and other family-room junk into a generous drawer in her coffee table. "That ‘magic drawer’ is a lifesaver at cleanup time," she says. "I’m a great proponent of storage disguised as nice furniture," agrees Diana Medalie, a mother of twins in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, who stores board games in an antique cedar chest that doubles as a table, and school and art supplies in an elegant music cabinet. Closing doors are the key for Lora Ma-Fukuda of San Francisco: "We turned our antique Japanese Tansu cabinets into giant toy boxes," she says. "When people come over, we shove everything inside and voila — it looks like we’re clean." Add lift-up storage under window seats or in the form of storage cubes, too: Anne Lowell, another San Francisco mother of a toddler and a preschooler, recently replaced her coffee table with a pair of lidded ottomans. "They open for toy storage, so the living room can be easily picked up," she says. Be sure to locate storage where it will be used: Shoe cubbies in the mudroom, cloth-covered boxes for DVDs and video games in the TV armoire and so on. Finally, "put hooks, baskets and other storage at kids’ level so they can learn to put away their own things," Kole says. "Help them help you."

DO prepare for (minor) disasters.
No matter how carefully you select furniture and finishes and set up rooms to avoid mishaps, when kids are in the mix accidents will happen. That’s why it’s prudent to plan for them. Lesley Alderman, for instance, stashes wipes and stain removers in key spots around her Brooklyn home. Elena Strothenke of Katonah, New York, stocks up on Mr. Clean Magic Erasers, which she swears take anything off walls and furniture. Kitty O’Callaghan of White Plains never serves a family meal on her antique dining table without a protective table pad in place. And Debbie Wiener routinely touches up chips and scuffs on painted trim with a bottle of Wite-Out. Bottom line: Be prepared, remind yourself that even an entire tub of finger paint on your new lounge chair doesn’t signal the apocalypse, and remember to laugh. Because life — especially with kids — is messy, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Next: 12 Ways to Childproof Your Home

Safety First in Family Home Design

Never sacrifice safety for good looks. If you have young children, thorough childproofing is a must. Here are a few pointers for making your home as safe as it is beautiful:

• Bolt bookcases, display shelves and other tall furnishings and appliances to the wall so they don’t topple over if kids use them as climbing structures.
  
• Place furniture away from windows, and make sure that windows have safety stops or guards.
  
• Install safety gates at the top and bottom of stairs.
  
• Cover radiators and block access to hot-to-the-touch wall heaters.
  
• Always use tempered glass.
  
• Pad sharp corners and edges on tables, counters, and fireplace hearths.
  
• Outfit drawers and cabinet doors with safety latches.
  
• Install doorstops or positioners to prevent little fingers from getting caught when doors slam shut.
  
• Move knick-knacks and other items that are small enough to choke on out of reach.
  
• Tightly loop dangling blind cords around cleats mounted high on window frames, or use cord wind-ups.
  
• Use childproof covers on electrical outlets, or switch entire outlets to the childproof kind.
  
• Tape down electrical cords to prevent tripping, or tuck them behind furniture and away from grasping fingers.

Leah Hennen is a frequent contributor to HGTV.com and other national publications. Now that her kids are 8 and 11 — past the grape-jelly smearing stage — she finally bought a "grown-up" couch with light-colored fabric. The family cat promptly ruined it.